3-1-2019

I think I’m bitter now because,
I’m striking out
I think I’m bitter now because,
I’m striking out
Flames have gone out
Flames have gone out
We could go out
It wouldn’t be me
Times are better now
I was high before
Now I’m low again
Flames have gone out
Speak to me
Speak to me now
I’m unclean
She’s serene
Gotta cut back now
‘Cause I don’t want to drown
Going to cut back now
It’s a promise I made

"This is from 2008 when my over abundance of alcohol use was becoming less of a joke and more of a serious issue.
Things were catching up to me mentally and emotionally and little did anyone, including myself, know this would be a prelude to the quick deterioration of my mental health and the birth of a pill addiction, worse alcoholism and the first of many suicide attempts.
Outside of one small part of this song which incidentally is the part that subtly mentions my alcohol use this song is about someone who wanted a relationship with me but I declined because I felt as if I would be a bad influence on her and I didn’t want that on my conscience. I didn’t want to being a happy person into my dark place and corrupt them.
The part about the alcoholism is about a friend who challenged me to do things like play open mic sober and to not drink so much in general because it was starting to scare her. I think I went 3 months without drinking and I showed myself that I could be sober and play in front of people. I probably never thanked her and she probably doesn’t remember so Sky, thank you for pushing me and making me prove to myself that I could do that."

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